Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Cruel Joke

I have been the recipient of a cruel joke recently.

We got a package in the mail, well my wife did.  She wasn't expecting one and didn't know what it was all about since it came straight from the store, so I started opening it for her.  It was very exciting, free packages brought by fed ex are always exciting, even though it was from an olive company (hate olives).  After I got the box open first thing I see BUBBLE WRAP!! Who doesn't love some bubble wrap?  I was excited to play with it and let the little guy walk on it and see him get excited about it.  It is always fun to watch the simplest things excite him, heck I like when the simplest things excite me.

Well not this bubble wrap.  No this is un-poppable bubble wrap.  How fair is that?  Why would you do that to a person?  I even stepped on it, granted I have lost some weight but I should still be able to pop it.  Not this stuff, the bubbles are all connected so the air just flows from one bubble to another.  Granted this is probably better for the safety of the product it is wrapping up, but who cares about that!  I want to pop some bubble wrap!

Nice gesture present to my wife ruined for me!

Thursday, August 5, 2010


Sometimes when I am really hungry I picture a whole hoard of gremlins in my stomach fighting each other, like Michael Vick's dogs. That, of course, is where the growls come from.  Each gremlin is in there fighting the other ones so they are up front and center for when that food does come down the pipe.  None of the gremlins actually kill the other gremlins, if they did I wouldn't be so hungry, they just wrestle and growl a bunch.
Then when I do eat something they are on it, like a bunch of football players trying to grab a loose football.  The smarter ones wait for the second piece to come down the pipe, then there are multiple dog piles going on and it is just chaos!  Sometimes I fool them and drink something. They are so confused and don't really know what to do for a little while, but then they catch on and start fighting again.  I usually try to avoid these situations, I don't really like fighting, but I have tried to cut out evening snacking so in the morning there is a battle royal going on down there.    I might have to find the right time to eat a snack that will tide me over until breakfast.